Why Keeping Up With Changing A Man Seems Elusive

Perhaps you are thinking,if only my husband would change then I would be happy,or if only my boss would change his ways,then work would become bearable. For years I attempted to change my Dad. I thought if I could teach him to be more positive he would change his critical attitude. That way we we would both be happier.After years of encouragement and cajoling I finally came to this conclusion:You cannot change other people unless they are willing to. When you finally notice a change in your husband it is because of the changes you had made. When you make a shift,in all likelihood your partnership will be affected.

I have met women who are desperate to change their partners. They leave self-help books in the bathroom,drag them to seminars,workshops and retreats hoping that their men would change. If you put the same focus and energy into changing yourself,you will probably have more success.

Now,here is the thing. Are you stuck in repeating patterns? It’s impossible to change your life if you keep on doing the same old things over and over again. Some women keep recycling the same old rubbish!

Imagine if you often visit the store on Friday night to buy groceries for the week. Then the store decided to change it’s working hours,closing early on Fridays.However,you still kept showing up each Friday night for groceries. That’s ridiculous! Absolutely. But do you get the point. The common denominator is obvious.It’s you. Instead of expending tons of energy hoping to change everyone and everything,start with changing yourself.

Next time you feel stuck in a familiar pattern,ask yourself: How have I set this up so I’m experiencing this again?

I know change is difficult.

American entrepreneur Jim Rohn makes a simple but profound observation: There are two fundamental reasons people change-desperation or inspiration.

Some wake-up calls such as a diagnosis from your doctor hit you hard. These wake-up calls are automatic precursors to change. There are also times when your desperation peaks,when you finally had enough. When this happens,something has to change for you-now,today! This is your day of desperation, the day which turns everything around. This is the day you take the pain of your discomfort,the frustration of your disgust, and the fuel of your anger and use them as impetus for change. You are yourself with rigid determination. “No matter what it takes,no matter how difficult it is going to be,I will not accept one more day of this. Nothing will stop me.”

This Day of Desperation allows you to mentally reframe your discomfort,pain or helplessness to one of new possibilities,freedom and empowerment. So the next time you feel strongly that something is totally unacceptable, be conscious that this could be your big day,an opportunity to break free of the shackles holding you back.

Now,even if it is desperation that motivates you to make changes,there’s often a silver lining when the worst is over. If you take time to reflect,valuable lessons can be learned. However,a much healthier way to make changes is through inspiration.

How do you become inspired? You get inspired by watching others. Sometimes it’s the underdog,the person least likely to win a talent contest,a championship medal,or become successful in business,who proves everyone wrong! We love to encourage the person who has been given no chance but has the courage and determination to give it their best shot. Often these surprise winners light a fire in us. We think,if she can do it,why can’t I? This can give you a boost to make changes you want to see.

Other ways to be inspired could be through a great book,an epic movie,beautiful art,or music that moves you to tears. Looking up to someone such as a mentor who you respect and admire,can inspire you to be successful too.

One of the best motivators is to make a list of compelling goals. Paint a vivid picture of what you want and visualize what it will feel like when it becomes a reality. Inspiration will ignite your creativity and passion. Just thinking about the possibilities can rob of you a night sleep.

You have given so much as a woman and a mother. You have sacrificed alot inorder to put smiles on the faces of your children,husband and loved ones. You have tried your best to change the people in your life especially your children and husband all because you believed they can become better than they are presently but it all seems change is elusive. Don’t you give up. Change is a gradual process.

Today is a day set aside to celebrate your efforts and selfless sacrifices. You have done excellently well and may your rewards be evident in your life and that of those you have invested in.

Wish you a very HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

Published by M'bolla

Omobola Stephen is a writer,blogger and an author. She's the host of Life Well lived by Omobola Stephen. She loves meeting people,reading and mentoring.

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