A lot of people don’t take responsibility for the relationships in their lives.They simply let things happen to them rather than being intentional about it.But to have the kind of solid relationships which brings fulfillment, you have to alter your thinking pattern when it comes to dealing with others.Here are some ways you can do that:
Place A High Value On People
Let’s face it,if you don’t care about people,you are unlikely to make good relationships a priority in your life.
Les Giblin once said, “You can’t make the other fellow feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.”
The solution is to place a high value on people.Expect the best from everyone.Assume people’s motives are good unless they prove them to be otherwise.Value them by their best moments.And give them your friendship rather than asking for theirs.That will ultimately be their decision.
Learn To Understand People
Many people care about others,but they still remain out of touch.In those cases,I think the problem is that they don’t understand people.
If you desire to improve your understanding of people so that you can build positive relationships, then keep in mind the following truths about people-and actions you can take to bridge the gap often caused by them:
- People are insecure…give them confidence.
- People want to feel special….sincerely compliment them.
- People desire a better tomorrow…show them hope.
- People need to be understood…listen to them.
- People are selfish…speak to their needs first.
- People get emotionally low…encourage them.
- People want to be associated wit success…help them win.
When you understand people,don’t take their shortcomings personally, help them to succeed and you lay the groundwork for good relationships.
Give Respect Freely But Expect To Earn It From Others
People who disrespect others always hurt themselves relationally-and they often reap other negative consequences.
I believe every human deserves to be treated with respect because everyone has value. I also have observed that giving people respect first is one of the most effective ways of interacting with others.However,that doesn’t mean you can demand respect in return.You must earn it.If you respect yourself,respect others,and exhibit competence,others will almost give you respect.If everyone treated others with respect,the world would be a better place.
Commit Yourself To Adding Value To Others
Charles Spurgeon said, “Carve your name on hearts and not on marble.” The best way to do that is to add value to others.Do that by:
- Looking for ability in others.
- Helping others discover their ability.
- Helping others develop their ability.
Some people approach every interaction with others as a transaction.They are willing to add value,but only if they expect to receive value in return.If you want to make relationships a priority, you must check your motives to be sure you are not trying to manipulate others for your own gain.
To make sure your motives are right,take this advice from Leo Buscaglia, “Always start a relationship by asking:Do I have ulterior motives for wanting to relate to this person? Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape something? Am I planning to change the person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself? If your answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, leave the person alone.He or she is better off without you.”