Many people define themselves by the work they do or the role they play in the family. ” I’m a teacher/doctor/computer programmer/ mother/ wife/ widow. ” All of these fall short of describing the multifaceted dimensions that make them complete human beings. Most people talk about what they do or who they serve but they have little or no idea about the rest of their makeup.
So many people are caught up in the busyness of their life at home or in the office that they don’t realize their entire wellbeing is based on the success of these roles. To avoid these,see yourself as a whole person.
If you are an income earner,a portion of you carries out specific duties atnwork and at home. But where does the rest of you show up? Has the other portion been put on hold or buried somewhere?As a woman,it’s difficult to see yourself as anything but a mom when you are at home with small children most of the day. If your hours are filled with looking after an elderly parent,your caretaking role is prominent; and if you are an entrepreneur investing fourteen hours a day living,eating,and breathing your business, sleep may be the only other item on your agenda.
There are stages in your life when a particular role may be all-consuming. The danger is over- identifying with your role, holding on so tightly that you choke off the other parts of your life.Per haps your saving grace is knowing that it won’t last forever.
It is time you put your role into proper perspective. Identify the particular role you are playing that is choking the hell out of your life,check your responsibility as well. Are they really in tandem with each other? You may be acting out a role very well yet it may not necessarily be a responsibility you have to be saddled with.
If you are the giving type that it is already making you loose your identity,you may need to have a reflection. You need to handle your role more lightly. Sometimes,you may need to give freedom to those you role play for and let them be accountable to test their new freedom and flexibility; to stop presiding over every detail in their lives. This will give you inner peace and some respect also comes along with it.