Many wives go to extraordinary lengths to win or to keep the love of husbands who do not respond to them in love. Just as often as it is with some women who has had their hopes dashed to the ground or deferred.
It is tough to live in a relationship without deep mutual,committed love. Everything in us cries for it.Afterall,that was God’s original intent for marriage when He created the man and woman and brought them together in Eden.
Marriage in Eden was more than sex.It was a marriage of minds,goals,interests, and spirits. And it was a marriage of two becoming one to symbolize all the oneness a man and a woman could experience in every other dimension of their lives together. It was a total unity that was possible only in Eden. In their perfection,Adam and Eve could have that relationship. As a flawed woman married to a flawed man,I cannot have that total and unblemished union with my husband. My needs gets in the way of his needs.His wishes collide with mine. It is easy to become disillusioned about a relationship that cannot be perfect. So we try and we long and we wish for something better. In today’s world,if we despair of achieving it with Mr Wonderful #1,we may decide to try it with Mr Wonderful #2 or Mr Wonderful #3.
In a day when we are sorrounded with media telling us that romantic love is the basis of strong marriages, it is hard to hang on to the fact that a magnificent marriage can be built on something other than love. In the disappointment of feeling less loved than you ‘d like,is it possible to find resources for happiness in a less-than-perfect marriage? Remember Leah,Jacob’s first wife, When her fourth son came,she named him Judah which means “Praising.” She explained that name by saying ,”This time I will praise the Lord.” For the first time in naming her sons, Leah turned from expressing her yearning for Jacob’s love to accepting and basking in God’s love.
Leah’s focus had changed from what she lacked to what she had.True, nothing had changed with Jacob. He was still starry-eyed over Racheal.
We can focus on what we lack and be miserable,or we can decide to focus on what we have and make up our minds to praise the Lord.
How do you live with a husband who doesn’t love you?You change your focus. In the process,you will not only end up exclaiming with Leah, “How happy I am!” but you will some day find that God has worked His Miracle through your sadness,touching the world with blessing through you.